Indie Spotlight: This Nasty Woman Votes

The way too long and hostile election season is finally over, and today, we cast our votes for the next President of the United States.  I will eagerly and nervously be awaiting the results, hoping that history will be made and we will elect our first ever female POTUS.

Skirt:  Eloquii (Available here)

Even though I have really strong opinions, I try to stay fairly apolitical on the blog because I want this to be a welcoming space for all.  But, this election feels different.  Really different.

After voting for Bill Clinton in my first election in 1996, I have typically voted Green Party.  The Green Party stands for real progressive change that is most in line with my personal, political, and spiritual beliefs.  During the primaries this year, I decided to vote for Bernie Sanders.  He has fought long and hard for equality in this society, and I was really feeling the Bern.

Unfortunately, he did not make it through to the end, and in this dreadful two-party system that we have, Bernie Sanders is no longer a viable choice for president.  In fact, he has requested that voters NOT write him in and instead offer their support to Hillary Clinton.

T-shirt:  Nasty Woman + Company (Available here)

I don't agree with everything about Hillary Clinton.  She is far too moderate for my preference, and I think she, like most Democrats, pander to liberals while having way too many ties to big business and lobbyists. 

Our system as a whole is corrupt and needs reform.  Instead of the winner-take-all approach we have here in the States, we need ranked-choice voting
 that actually honors the popular vote and the concerns of the electorate.  That discussion is for another time though because we are here, facing a big decision about who should become our next President.

Jacket:  Boohoo Plus

Clutch:  The Limited

And while I have my reservations about Hillary Clinton, she still stands for many of the progressive values that I hold dear.  She has worked for women, families, children, social equality, and so many more important issues throughout her career, and she is by far, without a doubt, the most qualified candidate for the job.  So even with my concerns, I can proudly say that this year, #ImWithHer. 

I am choosing not to vote Green Party because I think this election is just too important, and the stakes too unbelievably high.  I live in Illinois - it's a traditionally Democratic state.  My vote for a Green Party candidate wouldn't be in vain.  That said, if this election is challenged, as Donald Trump has promised to do if not elected, then the popular vote may become even more important, and I can't take that risk.  Not for myself, not for my kids, and not for society as a whole.

Necklace:  The Limited

Glasses:  Valentino

Donald Trump is one of the most openly xenophobic, racist, sexist, Islamaphobic homophobic, and ableist candidates we have ever seen.  This election isn't about Democrat or Republican for me...it's about right and wrong.  It's about my children - children who are biracial, female, and who have special needs.  What message am I giving them if I voted for someone who has shown such disdain and hostility to all of them at different times.  My children are afraid that their Latino friends will be deported!!!  This is serious and scary and sad.

This election I am voting for friends and strangers who want the right to live peaceful lives, free to love and marry who they want.  This election I am voting for the rights of people like my great-grandfather who traveled to this country from Turkey as a young boy, seeking asylum from persecution.  This election I am voting for myself as a woman who has been a victim of sexual assault and harassment and as a woman who wants to see an end to misogynistic rape culture.

This election, I am voting for all of us.  Because regardless of your personal political views, most of us are not part of the elite, and if you aren't part of the elite, Donald Trump brings nothing to you. I am not even sure if Donald Trump has anyone's interests at heart than his own.

Though I am excited to see history being made in my lifetime, I am not voting for Hillary Clinton because she is a woman.  I'm voting for Hillary Clinton because at this stage of the game, she is the best candidate we have for the job!

Despite the hatefulness of this election, it has inspired me to do some good in the world, particularly for women.  To that end, I am facilitating a drive to collect needed goods for a local domestic violence shelter.  For those of you who want to help but who don't live near me or know me personally, I created a GoFundMe page to raise funds to buy the items needed by the shelter, which I am told are toilet paper, cleaning supplies, and personal hygiene products.  I will be doing a large donation drop just in time for Thanksgiving, and I am asking for your kind, non-partisan help in making this winter a little bit easier on the women and children escaping violent situations.  Every little bit helps - a $5 dollar donation buys a couple packs of toilet paper or a bottle or two of floor cleaner.  If you can't donate, please consider sharing the GoFundMe page on your social media to raise awareness and garner additional support.  Just go to:   https://www.gofundme.com/help-phoenix-crisis-shelter?ssid=798133105&pos=1

Also, before I leave you all to vote, I must mention today's Indie Spotlight.  Today, I'm wearing a Nasty Woman t-shirt from female Brooklyn-based fashion and graphic designer Bob Bland.  She has screenprinted tees and bags for all of you Nasty Women and Bad Hombres, so please check her out!  Sizing is small.  I'm wearing a 2X in women's sizing, and it is definitely a fitted style t-shirt.

Imitation Game: Rosie the Riveter

The first thing I thought of when I saw this navy herringbone jumpsuit from eShakti was Rosie the Riveter.

Jumpsuit:  eShakti

So, from the start, I knew that I wanted to have some fun with this jumpsuit and play fashionable ode to Rosie, and what better time to play The Imitation Game than Halloween?!

Heels:  Target

If you're not familiar with the iconic Rosie the Riveter photo, it was used as part of a propaganda campaign to encourage morale among workers.  

Women had been encouraged to replace men in the factories while they were enlisted during World War II.  While women's increased labor force participation was part of the impetus that led to the women's rights movements of the 60s & 70s, the image of Rosie was not originally intended as the feminist figure she has become.

Women were encouraged through propaganda that it was their patriotic duty to join the workforce and to help support the war effort, but once the war was over, women lost their jobs and were told it was their patriotic duty to return to the home and to give up their status in the paid labor force.

While the war greatly increased women's labor force participation, the figure of Rosie the Riveter also overshadowed the fact that many women had already been in the paid labor force.  Poor white women and many women of color had been working outside of the home already.  This fact tends to get ignored.  While some women began fighting to get out of the kitchens, many women were already in the labor force, working for much lower wages than men, some working as maids and nannies for the very women that Rosie represented.

As problematic as she may be, the figure of Rosie is still important.  While she certainly didn't start out as a feminist icon, many feminists have taken this iconic image of the past and have separated it from its original meaning to create an empowering figure.

The labor force participation of "Rosie" and other women helped lead to greater economic and social independence of women.  It also became part of the impetus for the women's rights movements which helped improve the status of all women.

Now that you know the history, let me talk about my outfit a bit.  While not practical for real factory work, I went with red peep-toe heels to add a fashion touch to my look.  I actually wore this very look (including scarf) over the summer while running some pre-wedding errands.  So even though it is a little costumey by modern standards, it still makes for a fun look.

For my costume, I also added a button to my collar.  I didn't get a good pic of it as the light kept blurring the words, but I figured it fit today's theme.  The button features the Marie Shear quote, "Feminism is the radical notion that women are people."

Scarf:  Amazon.com

Yes, we can do it!  It's a good mantra for life, and ultimately, it's an empowering message.  Women aren't strong because we have muscles on our arms...we're strong because we do what needs to be done.  We take care of business at home and in the paid labor force.  Economic circumstances still impact a women's "choice" of whether to work or not.  It's important though that we respect these choices as there is no wrong or right choice.  It's also important that we continue to work for greater economic freedom for ALL women so that we can ALL do it no matter what "it" looks like!

Happy Halloween!!

Did you dress up?  Would love to see your pics!  Share on Instagram using hashtag #SCHalloween!

For the jumpsuit in another look, see here.

Unconditional Body Beautiful - Part 9: My Face Is Up Here

Happy Friday!  Today, the participating bloggers in the #UnconditionalBodyBeautiful series are back to talk about our faces.

My relationship with my face has been mixed.  I have generally had a youthful looking face and have also generally found myself to be attractive.  I definitely have not always seen myself as pretty or beautiful, but when I'm in a good place, I would say that I am.  On a really bad day, I may think my face is ugly, but thankfully, those bad days are few and far between.

A long source of grief for me has been my eyes.  On one hand, I think my eyes are one of my best facial features.  They're fairly large and a pretty color, and I've been told that I have bedroom eyes. 

At the same time, I have a lazy eye for which I've worn glasses since I was two years old.  I was told as a child that LASIK may be an option for my myopia, but that it probably wouldn't correct my lazy eye.  As my vision has gotten worse over the years so has my lazy eye.  

Make-up free after the end of a long work day AND yoga

While I accept myself as I am, I can still be a little self-conscious about my lazy eye.  Due to necessity (I see less and less well without glasses) but also my own insecurities, I always wear my glasses to correct my lazy eye.  Sometimes, depending on how I'm focusing or if I'm super tired, my lazy eye comes out even with glasses.

Another major insecurity for me has been my chin.  It's what I call a lazy chin....a lazy chin to go with a lazy eye, I guess.  Except at my very thinnest, I always have had a chin that slopes into my neck, without a lot of definition.  I don't have a "thin" fat face and spent many years envious of my mother and sister who I thought were much prettier than me and who naturally have slimmer faces and necks and more defined jawlines.

As I have gotten older, I have started to see the resemblance I have to my paternal aunts and also to my mother.  I have learned to see the beauty in myself by recognizing the commonalities I share with people I love.  If I can so easily see their beauty, then it's only fair that I recognize that beauty in me. 

I also have a crinkle in my nose when I smile, a crinkle that I have always had and that makes me feel cute. :-)

What is your relationship with your face?  Do you have a favorite facial feature?  What is it and why?

Also, why is it so fun to take silly face selfies?  Ha, ha!

For the other posts in the #UnconditionalBodyBeautiful series, see here:
Part 1:  My Body and I from the Beginning
Part 2:  The Heart (Bust)
Part 3:  My Journey on My Legs
Part 4:  My Belly and Me
Part 5:  My Buttocks
Part 6: Body Hair
Part 7:  My Arms, My Wings
Part 8:  Getting By On My Feet

Catch up with the other bloggers participating in the series this month: 

Katherine Hayward, The Glitter Notebook
https://theglitternotebook.wordpress.com/2015/09/18/unconditional-body-love-part-9-my-face-is-up-here/

This Is What A Feminist Looks Like

I am a proud feminist.  For me, being a feminist isn't really a choice.  It's a responsibility.

Skirt:  Target Petites (old)

Gender inequality in my own culture and society and around around the world is so often the root of violence towards and oppression of women and of non-conforming men and transgendered individuals. 

While there have been strides towards equality, I am inundated on a daily basis with examples of gender inequality in action from the murder of a young woman in Turkey who was killed trying to fight off her rapist to poor working conditions for women to a certain popular novel and film widely thought to glorify abusive relationships.

With so many examples of sexism in action on a daily basis, it's clear that the patriarchal system that supports such inequality hasn't really gone anywhere, despite changes in the last century.

Being a feminist is being an advocate for the fair and equitable treatment of all people regardless of sex or gender identity.   At its core is the common humanity that we all share.  We are inherently equal no matter what, and we deserve to be treated as such in our personal relationships, by others in our societies, and by the institutions that control our everyday lives.

T-shirt:  Zazzle (Available here)

But as a feminist, I'm certainly aware of the negative connotations that the word can carry. 

Part of that negative stereotype is of a man-hating woman who is generally unattractive, often fat, hairy-legged, and a laundry list of other physical characteristics deemed less than desirable in our culture.  

While I will gladly argue that most of these traits aren't necessarily "negative" in the first place, this caricature of feminists serves to perpetuate the inequality that feminists would fight. 

First, it assumes that men aren't feminists. 

If you believe in the social, economic, political, and cultural equality of men and women, congratulations, you're a feminist!  No vagina required!

Sweater:  Target

This caricature of feminists as physically unattractive works to preserve the beauty myth while making feminists look like unsuccessful women, women who simply lost at the game of playing gender.  Only women who couldn't hack it as "real" women (i.e. slender while still curvy, perfectly coiffed, etc.) would resort to feminism, right?  Over the years, I've heard that feminists are losers, lesbians, ugly, and mentally disordered, among other things.

Boots:  Target (Purchased used from eBay)

This erroneous line of thinking has been used by the dominant culture to make it easier to discount feminists and to discourage women from identifying themselves as such.  It keeps women from wanting to associate themselves as feminist for fear of being less acceptable in the culture.

The stereotypes used to turn people away from feminism are in place for the very reason that feminism is still needed.

Women are taught from a young age that we must constantly worry about our appearance and devote tons of time, money, and personal effort to maintaining said appearance.  We are told that in our natural states, we are unattractive.

Necklace:  JC Penney

While the war against women's body image is only one small part of gender inequality, it is one that affects so many women from all walks of life.

It certainly has affected me.  Due to my love of fashion, I found myself absorbed in fashion magazines from a very young age, and I pored over the images of airbrushed and digitalized women, not understanding that the women who these images were supposed to represent didn't even look like the pictures.  Cindy Crawford has famously said, "I wish I looked like Cindy Crawford"!

Clutch:  The Limited

I was led to believe in a false ideal of perfection, and it has taken me a lifetime to recover.  I'm still recovering.  I bought into the beauty myth hook, line, and sinker, and despite all of my gender studies education, despite my own rational mind, despite everything I knew, I accepted it.  I allowed the myth of perfection to overtake my life and affect my perceptions of my body and ultimately, myself.  My self worth was so tied into what I looked like that I let my appearance overshadow everything else great about me.

Over the last few years, I've found myself stepping away from fashion magazines and turning to bloggers of all shapes and sizes as a way to get my fashion fix.  I've continued to teach myself that my value as a human being isn't about my surface.

I am at the best place in my life in regards to my self-esteem and body confidence. 

100% cured from the damage caused by society? 

No way, but such amazing progress nonetheless.

And today, I celebrate that growth by the wearing of this shirt.

Bracelets:  The Limited, Ann Taylor

You see...over ten years ago, while reading a fashion magazine, I ran across an article on Ashley Judd.  She discussed her feminist views, and the article contained a photograph of her wearing a t-shirt with the phrase, "This is what a feminist looks like."


I immediately was drawn to the message, and I wanted a similar shirt.  But, something stopped me.

At the time, I thought the whole point of the shirt was to dispel the myths that feminists were only physically unattractive (as if that would be such a bad thing, anyway). 

Of course, Ashley Judd could wear a shirt like this.  She was thin and beautiful, and she was the perfect poster woman for such a message.

Ring:  Purchased at local jewelry show

But what about me?

I was short, a tad overweight.  I wore glasses.  I wasn't pretty enough.

Would wearing such a shirt reinforce the stereotypes of feminists as unappealing?

Who did I think I was to suggest that I was attractive and therefore a deserving face of the feminist movement?

Oh, I look back now, and my heart hurts for the insecure young woman I was.  And I realize now that I missed the whole point of this slogan.

Feminists come in all forms - male, female, and intersex.  Some of us are cisgender.  Some of us are not.  We identify sexually in different ways.  We are of different heights, hair colors, skin colors, body types and sizes, and physical abilities. 

Feminists are people who believe in the unwavering equality of human beings and are willing to stand up against the tyranny of sexual and gender oppression.

Yes, I am a feminist.

Earrings:  New York & Company

And this is what a feminist looks like!!!
Read more of Ashley Judd's views here.

A note on the shirt.  I'm wearing an XL, and the printing appears smaller on my shirt that on the web site.  Looks like the screen print is one size, so it will appear smaller on larger sized shirts than the smaller sizes.  Had I realized, I would have chosen one of the larger print options.

For the skirt in other looks, see here, here, here, here, here, and here.
For the sweater in other looks, see here, here, and here.

Cassential Links, 3/11/14

Chrystal Bougon encourages curvy girls not to settle.  There's a man or woman out there that will love you for you.

Feminism has become a virtual trend lately - what does this mean for the future of feminism, and more importantly, gender equality?

The bright colorblocking and oversized tunic over leather leggings speak to me on so many levels.

Cynthia rocks a jumpsuit in a way about which I could only dream.  

Tess Munster discusses her life as a plus-size model.

Gabi gets it so right here with this fab asymmetrical dress and statement necklace.

If real women looked like fashion sketches, the reality would be quite scary. 

Great casual look...Cheryl layers jackets like a pro

There are so many "rules" about what women should wear, especially curvy and plus-size women.   Break the rules!

Looking for some self-love inspiration?  Sally over at "Already Pretty" gives us a list of her favorite body positive blogs. 
 
Jean Paul Gaulthier breaks new ground featuring aging punks on the runway.  Love seeing diversity on the runway!!
 
Thought-provoking project in which black Harvard students share their experiences

Aerie, the lingerie company owned by American Eagle Outfitters, is challenging standards by featuring unretouched photos of non-supermodels in their ads.

And in unfortunate retouching news...Target screws it up again with disastrous photoshopping of a juniors swimsuit model.

Love Jess' unapologetic response to the guy who attempted to shame her boyfriend for dating her

Cassential Links, 2/8/14

It has taken me a while to get my links post up, so some of these posts are a little dated, but still very relevant...here's your Saturday Cassential links.  :-)

Are racialized sexist images art or just completely insensitive?

I remember sitting in a grad school sociology class and suddenly feeling very "masculine" that I so eagerly raised my hand and spoke up with my perspective in class.  I was still very insecure about many things in life, but I knew my sociological stuff and I liked to share it.  But was my behavior too aggressive and "unfeminine?"  I've since learned not to care and not to apologize for being "too much."

Women's sexual expression has become more open and mainstream in recent years, but is the message of sexuality that is so often promoted one of female empowerment or an appeal to a heterosexual male ideal of generic submissive sexuality?

One thing that I learned over the years with my own body image struggles is that self-love is an ongoing process.  Disordered thinking about one's body often leads to behaviors that are dysfunctional.  Years of anorexic-like behaviors and binge eating has taught me this.  Learning not to judge ourselves and our behaviors is a step in the direction towards greater health and better choices.  Knowing what is good for us and acting on this are two different things, but working to sync these two is a process towards healthy mind and a healthy body.

When I was in my early 20s and lost a significant amount of weight, I noticed a sudden change in people's treatment of me.  I got hit on relentlessly - sexually harassed constantly.  I had a co-worker objectify me, asking me to turn around and model for him - I felt like such a piece of meat.  Once that same co-worker got to know me, he treated me with a whole new level of respect - even going so far as to tell me that he had no idea that "there was so much to me."  Experiencing life both as a very thin athletic woman and as an overweight woman has given me a lot of perspective - there definitely is an ugly side of pretty.

I so often feel this way while watching TV - love the satire.

Disney princesses as you never knew they existed ;-)

Love these examples of active resistance to sexist advertising

This article wonderfully addresses the tabloid fascination with Bruce Jenner and his supposed transitioning.

The modeling industry never seems to amaze me with what passes for thin and plus-size. 

Love this article on how dressing for your age, whatever that means anyway, is dead.  While my personal style has changed from early 20s due to my lifestyle and fashion whims, I love the idea that age has no real relevancy on how we dress.  Stupid rules are most definitely made to be broken.  Wear what you want!!!

Great explanation of the concept of whiteness and how the construction of race was developed to promote and justify inequalities. 

Style Cassentials, 11/11/13

 This art project looks at the ridiculousness of Disney-fying female role models.  Does it go too far?

Sexism in advertising is nothing new.  How far do you think we have come from these sexist ads? 

Quality, price, range of sizing?  Are consumer demands reasonable? 

Halloween may be over, but these amazing costumes are making me plan for next year!

Gorgeous gold detail and over-the-knee boots.  Chic and fabulous!

Cool and classic with a bit of edge....Konstantina gets black and white is oh so right!

The images we see in magazines and on billboards are disturbingly altered, as this short video clearly illustrates.

So, you say you're not a feminist?  Are your reasons misguided or reasonable?  This article explores why many famous women deny being feminists.

Wendy's outfits are always inspirational!  Beautiful mix of textures and color.

Cassential Links, 9/18/13

Sorry my Cassential Links are late this week...family duties have taken their toll on my weekends!!!

Since starting my blog and following so many fashion blogs, I have been exposed to an increasingly diverse group of chicly dressed women.  I hadn't thought about how this exposure might have contributed to my greater body-confidence until I read this and this.  Little surprise, but an important reminder that diversity is a good thing for us all.

Classic prints never looked so chic!

The poor are often  simultaneously ridiculed and disdained, but what's it actually like to be poor and how many Americans are dangerously close to poverty?

Karrie Brown, and her mother Sue, from my hometown, are such inspirations!  Love that they are helping bring attention to people with developmental disabilities.  Karrie dreams big, and her story shows us that we can all make our dreams and goals come true.  Get #KarriedAway, and you can help more young adults like Karrie find meaningful employment and realize their dreams. 


Black and gold is such a chic combination - love how it is classic, but easily goes edgy.  Yasmin from Bangles and Bungalows offers some fabulous fall style inspiration.

Want some amazing unique costume ideas?  Look no further than Jes' post from The Militant Baker.


The problem with the privatization of feminism.

I can't read Italian (though hopefully my years of Spanish will help), but I am picking up a copy of Marie Claire Italy STAT

Reminder that loving our kids means loving who they are.

While the lack of body diversity shown by major designers is nothing new, the models of NY Fashion Week are also very racially homogenous.  

Love the song or hate it, think the song is "rapey", misogynistic, or fun, there's no denying that "Blurred Lines" has sparked discourse.  While the article's argument is compelling and the photographs brave and moving, the discussion comments had me engrossed for over an hour.

New outfit post tomorrow!!

Cassential Links 8/11/13

I have been busy this week getting the kids ready to go back to school.  Between registering five kids and shopping for supplies, uniforms, and new kicks, I haven't been hitting as many blogs and news threads as I usually do.  I can't believe my baby is starting kindergarten in a few days!!

Even though I haven't had as much time to peruse the news and fashion, here's what managed to catch my attention this week:

What does diversity really look like in the fashion industry?  The treatment of Gabourey Sidibe's recent photo-shoot in "Harper's Bazaar"  gives us some disappointing insight.

I love my tutu skirt - It just really feels like "me."  At the same time, it has led to questions of "Am I too old to wear this?"  Meagan reminds us that in a patriarchal society, remaining body-positive takes an ongoing effort.

Developing a signature style - if you're into rocker fashion, this one's for you!

The infantilization of women in this culture is the often-ignored flip side of the oversexualization of girls

Can't wait for this!  REBEL. WILSON.  AWESOME.

Nakedness as the last frontier to body acceptance?

Skirt Week: Grrrrrrl Power

Disclaimer:  This blog post features social commentary and is a departure from my usual fashion posts.  My opinions and conclusions may not be the same as yours.  I share my thoughts on the topics that follow out of a need for catharsis as well as a desire to encourage dialogue, both internal and external.  If anything I say offends you, I apologize in advance.  In the name of honest discourse, I stand by what I say here while noting that I am most definitely oversimplifying some of my points for the sake of brevity and the larger perspective. 

Top:  Torrid (Available here)

I have intended to keep my blog fun and lighthearted and not too controversial.  After all, my blog is about fashion.  Fashion is superficial and not to be taken too seriously, right?

In light of recent events, I've been thinking about this question a lot.  Clothes do not just get created or worn in a vacuum - they exist within a social context.  Clothes are used as social cues that tell others who we supposedly are.  In turn, those cues affect how others perceive us and even act towards us.  But the clothes are only part of the story.  The race, gender, age, weight, and other characteristics of the individual wearing an article of clothing affects how that same person is perceived.

Jacket:  Old Navy

As a nation, we've recently been confronted with the morality of laws that allowed George Zimmerman and Ezekiel Gilbert who killed a female escort to walk away free from murder charges.  We've been confronted with our rape culture that leads us to blame rape victims and to see insensitive, unfunny jokes as mainstream entertainment.  I've been thinking a lot about the social context in which these various events occurred.  

Related to these concerns, I have been thinking about the social construction of clothing - the idea that how the clothing someone wears can be seen as rationalization or justification for actions taken towards a person.  Whether it's the idea that someone wearing a hoodie is "dangerous" or the implication that a rape victim wearing a short skirt was "asking for it," clothing certainly isn't superficial or trivial in our society.


What makes many people see a young black male wearing a hoodie as a threat?

What makes many people see a woman's clothing choices as a justification for rape?

Skirt:  Forenza by The Limited (Available here)

I think both questions are answered by looking at systems of inequality and power.  The behaviors, thoughts, and clothing of those with less social, cultural, political, and economic power are more heavily scrutinized.  The qualities (or perceived qualities) of people within these categories are demeaned, ridiculed, and objectified.

We live in a society in which women, racial minorities, youth, and overweight people (and the various intersections of these groups) are continually devalued and demeaned.  The political and legal systems often work against these groups rather than work to protect them.  Popular culture creates and perpetuates fear, hatred, and disregard.  For example, Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines" and accompanying video feature women writhing around in varying states of mostly undress, while he, T.I. and Pharrell Williams both ignore them (they are “less than”, after all) and molest them while singing about the glories of their penises (and how they "know you want it").

This disregard for women happens at all levels of society.  What message is being sent to women and girls (and men and boys) when tampons and maxi-pads are banned from the Texas statehouse while concealed guns are allowed?

It’s my nature to obsess, deconstruct, reconstruct, and synthesize these seemingly unconnected social events.  All my life I have looked for answers to understand social inequality and to better understand my own feelings of insecurity or inadequacy that I knew had at least some root in the fact that I was a white woman in this culture.  To this end, I spent two decades of my life studying and teaching sociology.

In particular, I spent the last 15 years of my life studying body image and the media's role in promoting an unrealistic, unhealthy body type.  I've spent the last decade studying how women's and men's bodies are given meaning, labeled, and socially constructed by the culture and through the media.  Through my studies and original research, I know how so many of the ideas we have about women's bodies, white bodies, black bodies, men's bodies, etc. are complete bullshit.

Yet I believed.  

I bought the myths. I accepted the notion that my body was inferior and unworthy if it did not meet a societal ideal that I knew was created by the media and corporations making profits by promoting racialized sexism.  

As a slender woman in my early 20s, I accepted constant sexual harassment as the norm.  I was harassed on a daily basis to the point that I began to look to it for validation even though I often felt objectified and degraded by it.  When I started gaining weight, I found that I got much less sexual attention from strangers.  For a while, I was upset by this.  I had defined myself by others’ view of me.  I let my outer appearance (and others' judgment of it) define me.  

I accepted that I was less by being more.  I accepted that certain clothing just wasn't meant for me.  For a while, I accepted that I was not supposed to feel stylish, confident, competent, or sexy in this body.  I also accepted that I was freer from the sexual gaze than I was during my thinner days even though this probably was not very true.

I'm done buying into these false ideas.  I'm done accepting. I'll wear whatever I want to wear!  I'll feel whatever I want to feel...DAMMIT!

Satchel:  The Limited (old)

On very personal note, my fiancé was in a head-on motorcycle collision with a drunk driver during the 4th of July weekend.  All logic says he should have died; physics allowed him to walk away with relatively minor, though still not completely determined, injuries.  As I rushed to the hospital where he was taken by ambulance, I felt powerless to help him, but I also felt powerless walking the two blocks from the parking garage to the emergency room. 

Despite my conservative outfit and sensible shoes, I feared violence in the parking garage and on the street.  Here I was, a woman in the middle of the night. Alone. Defenseless.  My clothes had nothing to do with this socially ingrained fear, a fear that operates to force women to self-police their own choices and actions.  My clothes had little to no bearing on the likelihood that I could have been attacked and raped.

I was unscathed during that short walk, but seeing my fiance's injuries and knowing the potential of what could have been has given me a strong dose of reality.  Life can get cut short or change radically in a moment’s time because of someone else’s poor decisions and misguided perceptions. 

Trayvon Martin’s life was cut short. The lives of countless people have been affected by George Zimmerman’s decisions and the inequalities and biases that shape our legal and justice systems.  

The life of Lenora Ivie Frago, a 23-year-old mother and Craigslist escort, was ended by a bullet.  The lives of her friends and family and the lives of women everywhere have been affected by the belief of Ezekiel Gilbert and the jury who tried him that her life was less than valuable than the $150 he allegedly paid her illegal sexual services. 

I am angry that my fear of being attacked distracted me from my concern over my fiancé.  I am angry that inequality permeates so many facets of our society.  I am angry that I have allowed social norms and media culture to control how I feel about me.

I am tired of being afraid.  This fear is irrational.  If you are a racial or sexual minority in this culture, you are automatically in a catch-22.  There is no right way to act.  Had he been wearing khakis and a polo, Trayvon Martin would no more likely be alive nor his killer behind bars. 

If you are overweight in this culture, there is no "right" way to dress.

These recent life lessons have left me with a greater resolve to live my life on my own terms, to live honestly and with purpose.  I don't want other people to control my life.

Letting fear of judgment, fear of sexual assault or any other social-related fear control my sartorial choices has started to feel more and more ridiculous to me. 

I have body insecurities.  I will continue to slide and feel envy of other women whose bodies seem better than mine, whose fashion seems better than mine.  I will slip.  I will have bad days in which I want nothing more than to hide myself from the world.  I will have days where the insecure girl in me will take over.

But this girl is grown up, and this woman knows what the insecure girl didn't - that nobody's opinion matters if you can't love yourself and that unfortunately, people will judge you no matter what you do.

It's your life - live it to the fullest and on your terms.  This is not easy, and people won't always react kindly.  Unfortunately, some will react violently, but living in fear is not living.  Living life on your own terms is the best revenge to societal injustice, and it's the only way to live.  

Shoes:  Target

The claws are out, and this cat is ready to pounce.

For more on how race and gender affects societal privilege, see this great discussion.

For this skirt in other looks, see here and here.