Trigger warnings: Sex, sexuality, sexual abuse, sexual coercion
Today on the blog, I'm wrapping up my second Color and Confidence series with the color purple and some discussion about women's bodies as they relate to sexuality.
In order to live independent, fully authentic, free lives, we must be the controllers of our own destinies and our own choices. Our career decisions, choices to marry or not, to be a parent or not, our decisions regarding our sexuality...all of these choices are ours to make and ours alone.
|Jacket: Torrid (old)|
At the same time that girls are taught to maintain chastity, they are taught that having boyfriends and male attention is a good that should be sought out. They are taught that pleasing their boyfriends should be a primary goal. Girls and women are surrounded by sexist images of highly sexualized women offered up as objects for male fantasy. Females are taught that engaging in same-sex sexual activity is pleasing to (heterosexual) men and should be done for spectacle rather than true attraction to other women.
|Blazer: New York & Company|
|Clutch: The Limited|
Because of this, many women spend their lives highly constrained in their sexuality, afraid to ask questions, scared to share their activities even with their own doctors for fear of judgment. Girls and women are more likely to be coerced into sexual activity because they haven't been taught that their bodies are theirs to share or not to share at their own choosing. They haven't been taught to pay attention to their own sexual desires - in many instances, they are taught that they don't have or shouldn't have such desires.
|Booties: Sonoma life+style (Available at Kohl's here)|
News flash - being approached and harassed sexually is not alluring. It's not a turn on, and fat women aren't all sitting around hoping some man can overlook their fat bodies and actually have sex with them.
|Cuff: The Limited|
|Necklace: JC Penney|
Our perceptions of our bodies are often tied to the various uses of our bodies. Breathing, walking, running, eating, sitting, hugging, sleeping, brushing our teeth, growing other humans, putting on clothes, having sex...all of these activities may affect our perception of self and our bodies to some degree. Being able to fully engage in the sexual sides of ourselves, whether that means serial monogamy, abstinence, polyamory, monogamous marriage, or frequent sexual adventures with whoever we choose is part of what makes us full adults, complete women. That freedom to choose how we use our bodies sexually is tied to our feelings of self-worth. When we are free to make choices for ourselves and to listen to our own needs and wants, we can only be more confident as human beings.
|Tank: Old Navy|
Like any color, it can be easy to incorporate your favorite shades of purple into your wardrobe without going over-the-top with color.
Try a purple top
|From left to right: Marvelous Midis; This is What a Feminist Looks Like; Fall Color Week 2: Plum Purple|
|From left to right: Leopard In Transition; Queen Cobra|
|From left to right: A Homecoming Look + A Review of My Pick from Altuzarra for Target; Dress Up Tee Time|
|From left to right: Fall Double Feature: Sweater Glamour; I Resolve To Show More Leg|
Do you like wearing the color purple? Do you agree that sexuality is tied to body confidence? Why or why not?
Hope you enjoyed my color and confidence series. Catch up with the other posts in this series here:
For the first Color and Confidence: Purple, see here
For the cropped black blazer, see here, here, here, and here
For the black lace crop top, see here, here, here, and here
For the black leather sleeve blazer, see here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here